“If you believe you can, you probably can. If you believe you won’t, you most assuredly won’t. Belief is the ignition switch that gets you off the launching pad.”

Denis Waitley

The 2012 Victorian Titles have been and gone. Leading up to the event, I was pretty damn nervous. My constant dialogue in my head went the usual something like this:

Voice 1:  ‘You will be fine, it is only the Vics, use it as practice for the World Championships”

Voice 2: ‘What if you lose?’

Voice 1: ‘So?’

Voice 2: ‘I’m not ready’

Voice 1: ‘You will never be’

Voice 1: ‘What if I don’t make weight?’

Voice 2: ‘You are 2 kg under’

Voice 2: ‘Shut up’

Voice 1: ‘You shut up’

And so on. That lasted for about 2 weeks. Enough to make me feel like a crazy person, but after being an athlete for 20 years now, I know better… On the day, I will just suck it up, get over it, focus and compete.

So my goals for this years Titles were:

1. Gain confidence by playing my game in my weight division

2. Try new stuff in the open weight division

3. Handle myself better emotionally than at previous comps – specially if losing

4. Feel less ‘spazzy’ and listen to instructions while I’m competing

No gi under 56kg was first up. I haven’t given no gi much notice this half of the year, so I wasn’t too nervous. I managed to win all my fights and get gold, which I was thrilled about.

Second day of the championships was the most important for me – gi under 56kgs. With one win under the belt, I knew I could win this too. However, my first fight didn’t go to plan. I felt confident, but not too comfortable during the fight. The pace was high and submission attempts flying at me. I was up 12-0 and then got caught in a triangle. While the submission was being slapped on, I still somehow thought ‘meh I can get out of this’. And then BAM, my throat chokes and my hand taps. Bit of a ‘What the hell just happened’ moment…

I have to say I was pretty lucky that this year’s titles provided a repacharge for 3-person division. If I won my second fight, I would still be in the running for gold. I was very proud of myself of how I handled the loss and was able to refocus on the fight ahead straight away.

The second fight was against a small spider guard player, whom I lost to a ref’s decision at last year’s Pan Pacific Titles. To my frustration, I was not able to pass her, but this time the decision went to me. Not the best feeling in the world, to win by not really winning, but after losing 5 fights in a row by a ref’s decision, I was very happy. I was in the final.

I knew I had to be careful as my opponent had submissions coming left, right and centre, but I was also confident I could win this one. She pulled guard, I passed a few times, nearly ended up being crusifixed somewhere in the middle, but won the fight very comfortably on points. I did not give up one point in the process – gi and no gi.

2 golds out of 2 so far.

Next day saw open weight finals. No gi, I ended op losing 2nd round to a much stronger and better opponent. I tried pulling x-guard but ended up getting my back taken. Gi  – I tried playing guard and landed a sweep from half guard, but ended up losing the match on points as I run out of time to submit. The third day was not too successful, but I was not disappointed, because I managed to achieve all my goals. I also came away with valuable footage and knowing what to fix for Mundials.

All up I won 2 gold medals and was part of the winning women’s team. Quite a feat, considering we only had 3 women and took out all divisions we entered.

It was also fun competing for the 1st time under ‘Maromba’ and have Thiago coach me. The man has so much passion!

Cannot wait to get back to training on Monday and work harder!